Chevrolet Lumina SS UTE
Subtle it isn't. That would hardly be the point would it? Particularly in the garish shade of green that the test unit came in. Pearlescent green on candy apple green. This is not the way to go incognito. 6l V8 are about the only numbers you need to explain this particular version of Antipodean creativity. As the man said, “there just ain't no substitute for cubic inches.” Raw horsepower, a simple layout. Engine in front, simple autobox and drive wheels at the back.
This much power without any weight over the back wheels should lead to a squirrely, uncontrollable beast of a machine. Best for those with more hair on their chest than intellectual capacity. Or so you would think. It is one quick, predictable and utterly fun machine to drive, traction control on(!) or off. About the only chassis or drivetrain related issue whatsoever is the steering. Although precise and predictable, ultimately it lacks any feel. This is sad, but the compromise between ease of use and entertainment has been allowed to tip in the wrong direction. This is driver focussed and the lack of feel is a definite own goal.
Let's get down to facts. It is an overpowered tyre shredding bruiser. It is perfect to paint the tarmac of Southern Africa in artistically laid down black stripes of rubber while creating your own little black clouds of camouflaging tyre smoke. The method is beautifully simple. 270 kW and 530 Nm with the traction control off, left foot on brake, right foot on throttle and let go of brake, no forward motion, just plumes of screeching jaw-widening smoke. Oh and it is fast. Did I mention fun too? Levels of Noise Vibration and Harshness are certainly in executive car class.
Unbelievably it is also practical. Tons of stowage, a decent entertainment system, and wait for it, even a tasteful and ergonomic interior. The controls are well thought out, and easy to use. Getting behind the two individual seats is as easy as in a convertible and there is plenty of space to hide stuff properly. There are even some cubbies that extend from under the seats to under the load bak. The loading space is voluminous, taking an entire sheet of board with ease. The tonneau cover is a pleasure to use with rail clips and magnetic attachments making it a pleasure to use.
It feels well built. Solid and well-engineered. There was a slight buzz from one air vent with the capable aircon on at full tilt, but that was probably a leaf stuck in the pipework. There was also the odd clunk from the rear suspension when hitting really bad pieces of road, but that is down to the rear hardworking suspension. Certainly the noise didn't feel like there was anything wrong. Just a reminder of the condition of some of our roads.
When driven with intent, and bear in mind it is a little pointless to own on any other basis, this thing will use fuel. A small shareholding in Sasol would not go amiss. Expect 18l/100 km with scant regard to the pressure applied by your right foot. Better consumption could of course be achieved, but I wouldn't know.
If the looks are a bonus to you, there is no finer bakkie. Forget the subtlety of your M's, S's and AMG's and go brute force. Good on ya mate.
